Feeling Stuck in Survival Mode | Wednesday Waffles 6th Edition
There is so much chaos around the world right now, and there are pockets of peace and calm. What energy have you been feeling lately?
As you arrive here with me in this email I encourage you to take a couple deep breaths… because that is exactly what I am doing as I share this week’s message with you.
The common thread in our lives, especially as you and I were growing up, has been to suck it up - push our emotions to the side, put a brave face on and keep moving. Personally this led me to never feeling safe in the expression of my emotions, so I tried to hide them from the world and I would suffer in silence on my own. I’ve since learned how unhealthy this is.
I know we need more spaces where we can feel safe, supported and nurtured as we process our emotions, as we express our emotions, and as we release and transmute those same emotions. So that is what I am here for… to share insight, tools and a safe space for you to build a healthy relationship with your own emotional expression.
Let’s dive into a conversation that I had recently with my best friend and how her emotional state has been affecting her life.
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Back to the blog - Feeling Stuck in Survival Mode | Wednesday Waffles 6th Ed.
Conversations I’m Having Lately…
During a catch up call with my best friend she began to share how she was really struggling. My best friend feels stuck in a job that doesn’t fulfill her and the overwhelming voice of fear around her finances has kept her stuck in survival mode. (survival mode is a state where you feel like you are barely getting through each day, scraping by, energetically and emotionally exhausted… as if you are just surviving - the opposite would feel like you are thriving)
As she began to explain all the troubles in her current job, the issues with her employer, and the fear around how she will make ends meet, I held space for her to share. I validated her feelings and reminded her that it’s okay to express those emotions.
I could feel her energy through all of it and she simply felt exhausted.
Together we realized that she had been stuck in a pattern for 2-3 years now. She had a horrible experience 3 years ago with an old employer taking advantage of her and it has affected her perception of herself and whether or not she is capable of succeeding in life. She shared with me that she is tired of this pattern. Almost every work situation since that one 3 years ago has been a problem. No wonder she doesn’t trust herself, she keeps ending up in shitty situations with employers taking advantage of her. Hence being in survival mode.
Now, I need to make something clear to you. The people in my life know that I won’t let them vent or complain about life without steering the conversation into something healing. It’s just not who I am. I will never jump on the bandwagon of complaining because I know from first hand experience that this just keeps us stuck in old cycles that are unhealthy and unsupportive. So whenever my friends, family or coworkers come to me with an issue I first hold space for them to share so they can feel safe in the expression of their emotional experience; then I ask them if I can share my perspective. I will never force my perspective onto someone because that is also unhealthy.
Back to the conversation…
After asking my friend about the previous times in her life that she felt aligned, grounded and excited about the life she was building, we were able to determine her next steps and the direction she could move forward in. But I made it very clear to her that if she wanted to break this old pattern, she had to start prioritizing connecting with herself through reflection and meditation (or visualization).
I reminded her that she has been in survival mode for years, and she will NOT be able to make aligned decisions about changing jobs if she continues to stay in a state where fear is running her experience.
Currently her mind is saying “I can’t leave this job because how will I afford all my monthly expenses. I can just stay here because at least I know how I’ll make money.” This trajectory of thoughts is keeping her in a place that is exhausting and unfulfilling.
Right now my friend is living from her mind, as her thoughts spin wildly, causing her to feel overwhelmed. When we live from our mind it becomes easier for the voice of fear to control the way we see life. I told her that she will never feel safe in her decisions if she continues to live in survival mode, just barely getting through each day.
What is the solution? How do you shift out of survival mode?
I reminded her this is exactly what my membership, The Soul Care Space, is all about. At first it was kinda funny because I felt like I was pitching my work to her, but then I reminded her of my own experiences being in survival mode. I reminded her of the effort I’ve put in to feel grounded in my body, connected to my soul, and aligned in the decisions I make. I told my best friend that she won’t feel fulfilled in life if she continues to make decisions from fear. I told her that by adding in 5 minutes a day or 15 minutes a couple times a week of soul connection, she will begin to remember that she is capable, she is smart, she is worthy of having a job she loves and one where she is treated fairly.
Being in survival mode your mind is always going to convince you that the worst is going to happen. The only way to shift this cycle is to start shifting your thoughts and energy on a regular basis. This isn’t about a massive transformation to solve all your life’s problems. This is about your commitment, your dedication to wanting to have a life where you thrive.
When we looked back at her life and the last time she felt aligned, grounded and excited about the life she was living we were able to see how she got there. She remembered the 4 years she spent practicing self-reflection, listening to the voice of her soul, and embodying trust on her path. In our conversation she was able to recognize that the work she put into herself was what allowed her to create a life where she felt like she was thriving.
What happened for her to lose these practices? She experienced something traumatic and she lost part of herself in the process. She forgot how to prioritize her soul connection.
This is why I reminded her of TSCS. I said “it doesn’t need to take hours every day to come home to your soul and feel aligned and grounded again. It can look like 3 15 minute practices this week, then next week you may only do 1 practice for 5 minutes, the week after it could be twice, and so on and so forth. Consistency and dedication in this day and age is not every single day at the same time. It is the willingness to show up for yourself amidst the chaos of life. This is how you create pockets of peace and calm.” My best friend is a fitness coach, so I reminded her that in order for me to build a routine of working out and taking care of my physical body, I needed to hold myself with grace and allow myself to do 3 workouts one week, then 2 the next, then 1 workout the week after, and back to 3 again. I told her that if I held shame and judgment for myself in not getting those 3 workouts done every single week then I would’ve lost the motivation to show up.
Why did I want to share this conversation with you today? Not because I want to convince you to join The Soul Care Space. Instead I wanted to remind you that if you are feeling stuck in a cycle or in survival mode feeling exhausted, wishing for something to change… there isn’t going to be someone to come and save you. You get to save yourself.
How can you save yourself? It’s not about 1 decision changing the trajectory of your life. It’s the smallest moments of checking in with yourself and choosing to nurture yourself, inspire yourself, or ground yourself back into your soul. Consistency and dedication to knowing your soul, feeling connected to your soul, and living from your soul. This is where peace, purpose and a sense of freedom reside.
If you don’t know how to do this, then I’ll make it easy for you - become a member of The Soul Care Space and receive on-demand access to our soul care resource library, with brand new resources uploaded weekly.
3 Tips I’m Remembering…
1 - Emotions only last for 6-90 seconds.
When I get stuck in the narrative of why I’m feeling a certain emotion then I can get lost in that emotion for hours. The more often my thoughts circle back to the reason that emotion came forward then I continue to sit in that emotion. Instead, when I recognize a difficult emotion has come forward I can choose to name it, then breathe through it. It’s not always easy to feel those heavy emotions, but the more often I hold space for myself in the feeling process, rather than getting tied up in the thought process, it becomes easier for me to gently let those emotions flow. As a sensitive soul this has been a necessity on my journey.
2 - Human connection will always be more important.
As the presence of AI becomes bigger and bigger in our world I see the people around me fearing they may lose their job. Even though I can see how AI can be beneficial in some ways, I also believe that human connection will always be more important. The more we rely on AI for our decision making we will lose our ability to be discerning, adaptive, and innovative. I mentor and teach from personal experience, which is why you feel connected to me and my story. AI cannot do this. In a world where AI is becoming more easily accessible, I will always lead with HI, human intelligence and HC, human connection.
3 - Water is the most cleansing resource around.
When the day feels stressful, I turn my shower into a cleansing ritual. When I feel exhausted from a long day, I go to the lake for a cold dip and allow the water to cleanse my body, my energy and my mind. When I feel overwhelmed by someone else’s emotions, I visualize water washing over me as it cleanses the energy that has attached onto me. The energetic vibration of water cleanses my soul.
Every single week for the past month I’ve been sharing these Wednesday Waffles as a way to connect with you and as a way to share the lessons I’ve learned on my spiritual journey. But I’ve been around for a lot longer than a month and a half. Have you been here since the beginning? When I launched my first workshop about the Moon Cycle in 2019? I’ve grown, expanded, healed and learned in so many ways over the last 7 years. Whenever you arrived to this space, whether it was at the beginning, a week ago, or somewhere in between… I want to thank you for being here. I want to share my love and compassion with you, wherever you are on your journey.
If you’ve been here for a while, supporting my work from a distance, enjoying the lessons I teach and the energy I share… then I invite you to join my membership, The Soul Care Space. This is my life’s work and it is the ripple effect of light I am creating in the world.
Much love,
Sydney Smith
Spiritual Mentor
Founder of Adventuring with Poseidon Wellness
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